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I’m an Idiot for $1000

December 4th, 2007 · 5 Comments

The “long approach” is one of the most simple yet challenging social interactions in existence. You’ve likely experienced it. You’re walking along a sidewalk or long hallway, and in the distance you recognize someone you know walking in the opposite direction. Acquainted enough for them not to be a stranger, but not enough to merit an entire conversation, you get ready for a brief, pleasant acknowledgment of their existence. But the distance between you creates a conundrum. You’ve cleared all thoughts in preparation for the interaction, but are faced with an abundance of time before the two of you meet. Suddenly, you find yourself analyzing the most trivial things.

Do I say hi? Hello? Hey man? What’s up? Silent head nod? Upward or downward? Who goes first? Should I go now? No, too soon. Now? How about now?

I found myself in this situation the other day. I was at a client site, one I don’t visit that often, and was walking out of the break room. The office has an “open” layout - no cubicles or offices, just clusters of desks - and I could see someone walking toward me from afar. He was someone I’d had a brief meeting with nearly 6 months ago, and though I hoped he’d change direction, it became clear that he too was headed for a break.

A few seconds later, we eventually neared each other, and my thoughts now in a mess, I bumbled out the first word that popped into my head.

“Good.”

Note to self: Real life isn’t Jeopardy. Questions first, then answers.

5 responses so far ↓

  • Andy // Dec 5, 2007 at 11:26 am

    You have to nip this kind of crap in the bud by screaming out as soon as you see the person, it’ll make them chuckle - particularly if you say something ridiculous like “What’s up jack-ass!” real enthusiastically. Then you can dance around as you get closer to them , do ollie’s off the wall, etc.

    Or you can just start running and put your hand up for a hi-five to see how they react. It’s either going to be a huge hi-five or he will get slapped in the face.

  • manan // Dec 7, 2007 at 10:25 am

    LMAO, i know exactly what you mean!

  • Ryan // Dec 7, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Hilarious.

    I have done nearly the same thing, my blurt was:

    “Not much.”

  • Amish // Dec 7, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Andy - Not a bad suggestion. Though I don’t know how well it would be received in a work environment.

    Ryan - You reminded me of another situation that I’ve found myself in many times: answering the wrong question.

    “How’s it going?”
    “Not much.”

  • Andy // Dec 7, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    Being retarded is always well received. People wish they could behave like they do with their friends when they’re at work - unless they’re “that guy” - in which case no one gives a crap if you offend him.

    …unless he’s your boss.

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