Oktoberfest Ended Early This Year

I went on quite the bender last weekend. Multiple 32-ounce styrofoam cupfuls (yes, that said multiple 32-ounce styrofoam cupfuls) of beer at a ridiculously-happy hour with coworkers Thursday night; two separate bar tabs at Gallery bar Friday night; Michigan football at Professor Thom’s on Saturday; one more bar tab at Gallery bar Saturday night (having left my credit card there on Friday); the Jets game on Sunday; And SIXTHLY, after taking the bus back from the Meadowlands, bowling at the Port Authority, where we ordered one of these things.

Sometime during our second game, I brought up how much beer I had been drinking lately. We began discussing the pros and cons of beer (pros: social drink acceptable for any occasion, delicious; cons: beer shits, almost not being able to see my toes), and our conversation eventually drifted into contemplating lowering our consumption. Like other recent bowling outings, this eventually became a wager.

Sachin, Rishi and I challenged ourselves to give up beer.

Not forever, mind you, because that would be freaking ridiculous. But we did give ourselves what I consider to be a pretty aggressive goal: one month without beer.

Not just any regular month, however, because we foolishly rushed to declare a deadline date and time (Midnight on November 14, 2007… or is it Midnight on November 15, 2007? Its the Midnight where the 14th becomes the 15th) before realizing that October has 31 days. Which, if you count the time between when the bet was made yesterday and midnight last night, means I will have to go without beer for like 31.3 days. And that three after the decimal is repeating, I just know it.

This is going to be hard. Much harder than the time last week when I tried to climb the 8 floors to the gym in my building (I got to the top and was like, “Good workout, Amish. Next week, we’ll take the elevator and maybe get some weights in.”)

So I will need your help. Not encouraging thoughts or moral support, because I’ve got my mom for emotional crap like that (I haven’t even told her about this challenge yet because she’ll probably start crying tears of joy, and that’s a conversation I don’t feel like sitting through). No, what I need more than anything is for you to get Rishi and Sachin to lose.

We’re on an honor system, but the penalty for drinking a beer before the deadline is $100, paid to the remaining contestant(s). Not a bank-breaking amount, but just enough to make one think twice about getting hopped up…on…hops (yup, went there). I’d rather not lose, but I wouldn’t mind being able to drink a beer sooner than the deadline. I think I’m allowed to do that if they both fail. Even if I’m not, I also wouldn’t mind the extra cash, so I am hereby offering 25% of my take to anyone who can get one of those two to drink a beer. That means $12.50 for the first to fall (out of my $50), and $25 for the second (out of my $100), rounded up to $40 if you nail them both. An extra $5 thrown in for each ‘winning’ beer.

All winnings will be paid out at Midnight on November 14th (15th?) with… you guessed it… beer.