I could not be more unhappy / ugly right now.

This morning, I decided to clean up and trim my beard a little bit. I busted out my recently-purchased trimmer, flicked it on, and went to work. What I didn’t realize is that the little attachment that controls the length of the trim was not properly secured to the blade. As soon as I pressed the trimmer against my skin, the attachment popped off. The blade, however, kept going, and sheered off a patch of hair from the bottom of my face.

Not. Good.

I spent the next 20 minutes playing around with the trimmer and various attachments, trying to figure out a way to trim the rest of the hair to a length that would mask the error but still maintain a semblance of a beard. Back and forth, side to side, trimming a little here, evening out a little there. Going back to even out the right side. Damnit, now the left side’s off again! Crap, I missed a spot…and so on and so on.

Eventually I had whittled down my former man-beard of awesomeness into little more than a five o’clock shadow. And even though the front and sides of my face look OK (in the ‘my eyes don’t hurt to look at it’ sense), the bottom - the part where my first chin meets my second chin - looks like I handed a blind kid a lawnmower and said, “Hey you, aim that thing at my face!”