Rats! – An Official Response

By now you have likely heard the story of the rat outbreak that occurred in one of New York City’s Taco Bell/KFC restaurants. I know you’ve heard of it, because I’ve heard of it. At the time of this posting, 14 people have each individually emailed or IM’d me about this story.

(This number is surprisingly low. When the e. coli outbreak happened at the end of last year, I think the number hovered somewhere around 30 and included phone calls.)

Credit for breaking the news to me first (and also most humbly) goes to Evanstar, for emailing me a link with a simple subject line ‘sorry dude’.

Credit for awesomest person to contact me goes to someone named Marissa, who emailed me a link to a post on Consumerist with the note “Thought you would like to know.” I had absolutely zero clue who Marissa was, so I asked her to explain herself, and it turns out she, to quote her directly but change some words so as to match the voice and tense of this sentence, “is an avid reader of my blog and enjoys (though doesn’t quite understand) my devotion to TBell.” Yes, she actually used the word TBell. Marissa, you wowed my pants off (yeah, I was at work, so that was kinda awkward). Anyway, if you’re willing, I’ve got a bean burrito with your name on it. Hell, I’ll even throw in some sour cream.

(That sour cream sentence wasn’t supposed to be dirty.)

Anyway, to all of you, I appreciate your concern for my well being. And since I know you’re wondering, here is my official response on the incident:

I don’t care.

Here’s why:

1. I don’t go to that Taco Bell. Never have. I’m hardly ever in that exact area, and when I am, its usually not around a meal time. So, while I hate to see any Taco Bell be forced to close its doors (like the one down the street from my high school that closed my junior year – man, that was a tough period in my life), I’m not that personally affected by this incident.

2. The incident is isolated. Unlike the e. coli scare, which impacted the tri-state area and ultimately the whole nation, there is no ‘rat outbreak’ going on here (at least no more so than New York City already faces). Its not like the rats found their way into a bag of refried beans at a distribution center and are now making their way around the city. They’re in one place, and one place that doesn’t matter to me. Of course I’m disgusted, and wouldn’t go to that restaurant or anything around it for a long time, but again, this doesn’t impact my ability to visit other Taco Bells.

3. I’m suspicious. I’ve seen the video. You’re telling me that everything has been fine and dandy for the last few days/months/years, and all of a sudden a couple dozen pound-and-a-half rats are just strolling around like they own the place? No one noticed these here before? Also, how did a TV crew just ‘happen’ to be there? Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I’m not ready to rule out foul play.

Ultimately, I think its unfortunate that Taco Bell was hit with a problem that really impacts all of New York City as a whole. This is anything but good publicity, but nonetheless, I will probably find my way to one in the next 24 to 48 hours. You’re all more than welcome to join me.

Especially you, Marissa.