WTF Is Wrong With Me?

I’m a man. I like pickup trucks and action movies and beer. Lots of beer. I’m good with tools. I can put together furniture (Ikea’s a joke), and I helped my dad build an addition to our house (see before and after. Nail guns are awesome, by the way). I scratch myself. I emit odors that are occasionally offensive. I’m sometimes messy. I watch sports and yell at the TV. I pee standing up. I am a man.

And while I’m comfortable with the fact that, yes, I do watch Grey’s Anatomy, I am a little ashamed to admit that…I cried a little during last night’s episode.

I mean the thing with George…and his dad…and all that…damn. I’m questioning my own manhood right now. The last time I got that emotional about a fictional story was when I watched Air Force One for the first time. You know the scene where they’ve retaken the plane, and President Harrison Ford is now flying it, but they are still in hostile territory and the migs are chasing them, but they are out of countermeasures, so the fighter pilot next to AF1 heroically sacrifices his life and flies his plane into a missile’s path. Man, that one really got me. But at least that was an action movie. Grey’s Anatomy is pure chick show. I shouldn’t be crying during it. In fact, I shouldn’t even be watching it. I should be watching Scrubs. However, I do feel better that I’m not alone in my sentiment…

Kellen: how sad was grey’s last night
Amish: dude, not gonna lie, i was tearing up
Kellen: me too!… 1 tear down the cheek
Amish: hahaha
Kellen: so glad i was watching alone
Amish: i know me too

Of course, after watching Grey’s, I fired up the DVR and caught up on The O.C. And with my emotions already in tumult, I dug myself a deeper hole of questionable emotional expression by the time I got to Ryan’s poem:

A sonnet, I know not how to write
A haiku…Five, seven, five seems too tight.
Then there are three little words I’m not able to say
But this is what I can tell you today.
Though I can’t say those words to you tonight
Please stick with me because I feel someday…I might.

As I read it now, I laugh at how insanely cheesy it is. But last night, I thought it was amazingly sweet. And now I’ve just referred to something as amazingly sweet on a public forum. I seriously need a punch in the face. I think I’m going to go hang out in the lumber section of Home Depot after work today.