I’m less than two weeks away from a big snowboarding trip out to Breckenridge, Colorado. I’ve spent the better part of the month counting down to this trip, but late last night a frightening thought crossed my mind.

I’m terribly out of shape.

I quit put my gym account on hold a couple months ago. Between working and sleeping and eating and hanging out with my friends and sitting on the couch, I hardly had any time to go. I was paying $70 per visit (monthly fee [$70] divided by number of visits per month [1]), so I axed my membership, nothing that this hardly made any fiscal sense. (I further justified my decision to myself by noting “Well, I do play a bunch of ZogSports and that’s where I’ll get my exercise.”)

Unfortunately, I took the winter season off from ZogSports, and work has taken up even more of my time (gotta love busy season!), leaving me with an enhanced chubbiness that’s only cute on babies, marshmallows, and Pillsbury doughmen*.

Now, the few extra pounds I’ve probably packed on (I’m too scared to actually check) don’t really worry me. And I’m fairly confident about my abilities as a snowboarder (see here and especially here). What does worry me, however, is the prospect of the pain I’ll be feeling at the end of each day, and ultimately, the end of the trip.

So I’m asking you, my loyal readers (and also the guy who got here by googling [cry little boy cry osu fan]), what should I do to get my body better prepared to fight the soreness that I’ll be facing? Remember, my timeline is less than two weeks, so please refrain from unrealistic suggestions like “rejoin your gym” or “stop eating grilled stuffed burritos at 11pm”.

*If you happen to find ‘enhanced chubbiness’ cute on a man, please email me. (Unless you’re my mother, in which case, yes, I know you think I’m cute regardless of how I look. Now stop smothering me! I’m a grown man!)