Well, Christmas is over, and I’ll be headed back to New York tomorrow for a few more days off before returning to work. Some friends from Michigan will be in town, so I’ll have some fun times at the bar to look forward to.

Plus, it is now officially Capital One Bowl Week, which Brian (organizer of The Pool That Makes Me Do Nerdy Things) appropriately describes as “we finally get through the garbage games and into teams that I actually knew had football teams.”

(Side note: Damn you, FSU! Why did you pick today, out of all days this season, to STOP SUCKING?)

(And UCLA? What. the. crap? You beat USC, had 3 weeks off to practice for a crappy team, and all we got was that? Your loss was the equivalent of me giving up $29.09 in prize money, and yes, I did just whip out Excel to figure that out, regardless of whether or not the connection between one loss and overall prize money makes any sense.)

(This could potentially be a bad week. See how easily I have sidetracked from this post’s main intent - Christmas gifts - to college football talk? The next 10 days should be interesting. This blog might either explode with happiness, or implode with utter humiliation. Either way, there will be ploding.)

(What’s with all the damn parentheses?)

ANYWAY…this post is about Christmas gifts, since some of you are probably wondering what I ended up getting for my family.

First, a brief rundown of what I got:
-A Coach card case/money clip thingee from my sis
-A couple of sweaters from the sale rack at the Gap from my parents

I know. Exciting. My parents wanted to get me more but I had a hard time giving them ideas. I don’t really know what I want at this point. I either have things already (clothes, camera, etc), or am realistic enough to know not to ask for big, expensive things like a fancy TV or new computer.

(Though my dad did buy my mom a new laptop. WTF? Aaack, more parentheses.)

Anyway, if you have an great gifts that you got, let me know what they were, so I can maybe ask for them too.

So what, oh what, did I get my family?

For my father, I purchased the new pair of sneakers and the I’m-like-Magellan-I’m-so-gellin’ uber-squishy bike seat he picked out today at The Sports Authority. Yes, today. A whopping 363 days before Christmas. Can you believe that?!

For my mother, I gave my dad 70 dollars for paying for a voice recorder my mom wanted. However, I should note that I also borrowed 80 dollars from him this week, since I left my ATM card at TGI Friday’s one of the first nights in town (Holiday shutdowns and a laziness to drive across town prevented me from picking it up until today). So, actually, my earlier list should be revised as follows:

- Coach thingee
- Cheap sweaters
- $10 (and credit for a gift)

(Although, now that I am writing this, I realize that though I committed to paying for the voice recorder, I haven’t actually handed any money over. Which means I’m actually $150 in the red. Good Lord, for sitting on my ass for a week, this vacation sure got expensive.)

And for my sister, I got….I got….well, crap. I got her nothing. ACTUALLY, now that I see her cat sitting quietly next to me, I realize that I have not physically tormented it all week, as I am often wont to do (Punk thinks he’s a dog? WELL PROVE IT, TOUGH GUY!) My lack of aggression has meant that her temper has been kept in check. And since we all know that anger reduces one’s lifespan (we do all know that right? or did I just make that up to support this argument?), I have essentially extended her life by, oh I don’t know, 3.3-3.6 minutes. And since time equals money, I have in fact given her a gift worth at least $2.15.

(No Excel spreadsheets there, just mental calculations. Filled with love and kindred spirts and merriment and Christmas joy and the hope that by the time I finish this sentence I will have figured something out to give to her, and nope, not there yet, let’s see, what else can I talk about, hey did you hear about the new Harry Potter book, you did huh, how about the Transformers move, that too, geez, well did you hear the joke about the broken pencil, eh, it didn’t have a point, haha, oh, forget it. I dropped the ball. Sorry sis.)