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Dear Mr. Panchero

November 30th, 2006 · 11 Comments

Dear Mr. Panchero,

Its no secret that I am a huge fan your Panchero’s restaurants (heretoforeafterevermore referred to as “Panchies” or “The Panch”). A brief rundown of my Panchies experiences:

  • I frequented The Panch so many times that the friendly workers there knew me by face (but not name, they couldn’t seem to remember “Amish”)
  • Although I showed up a half hour after closing, the proprietors of the Ann Arbor location have actually opened up the door and sold me a burrito, knowing that I would not sleep well if I did not get it.
  • My Spanish is weak, so I’m not exactly sure what was said, but I may have also promised to bring them a girl in exchange.
  • That girl may or may not have been my sister.
  • The number of free burritos earned from Buy-10-Get-1-Free is somewhere in the double digits. And that’s just senior year.
  • I perfected the 7-word-shuffle, the simultaneous walk down “Ingredient Lane” while declaring my order in perfect Spanish. “Burrito-Arroz-Pinto-Pollo-Cheese-Picante-Crema.” Yes, I know cheese is not really Spanish, but let me tell you, I can say it with a pretty good accent.
  • I have been known to drop $5 bills into the tip bucket. Not intentionally, but its been done.
  • Most recently, I have turned down leaving a bar with a girl I had been making out with in favor of getting a burrito. And not just any burrito, my friend. My third in 24 hours.

So I was shocked, absolutely shocked, this past weekend when I went home to Florida. I was playing around on my computer, with the TV on in the background, when I heard a familiar line from the voice on TV. “Its all about the tortilla.” I looked up, but was too late. “No way,” I thought. “They can’t really be advertising on TV!” I had heard rumors of Panchero’s restaurants opening in Florida, but did not think that the brand had a media presence. A few hours later, I caught the commercial, the entire commercial. It blew my mind. Turns out you have 5 restaurants already open in Florida, with two more on the way. Then, today I found out that you also recently opened a location near Chicago..

Although I am happy that your organization is experiencing such wonderful growth, the honest truth is that I’m a little bit upset.

Why aren’t you opening a location in New York?

I mean, COME ON. This is New York! Why AREN’T you opening a location here? Do you know how big the market for your burritos is? Your food would take over the city! I would visit you every other day! I can think of at least, like, 5 or 6 other people that would be happy to see you here!

So please Mr. Panchero, please open a location in New York City as soon as possible. Florida has 5 and Illinois has 1, so I think its only fair that we get one too. You know. Because.

Regards,
Amish

P.S. If you happen to know other high-ups in the biz, could you pass along the message that I’d also like to see the following things in New York: Potbelly’s Sandwiches, Sit-down Pizza Hut, Olive Garden that doesn’t look like Olive Garden so that I don’t feel ashamed if I go there because this is New York City and people in New York City shouldn’t go to Olive Garden.

11 responses so far ↓

  • Megan // Nov 30, 2006 at 9:16 am

    I actually knew some of my Pancheros workers names. Apparently the one named David (pronounced Dah-veed) still works there! He was there when I was a freshman in 1998! And why does everyone feel the need to order in Spanish there? I took 5 years of Spanish yet the only thing I could ever say was “yo quiero un chicken burrito!”.

    Oh and the BEST thing about the Pancheros in Iowa City was they had TWO toilets in the women’s bathrooms, so my friends and I could sit, pee, and talk about how excited we were to eat Pancheros. It was great.

    And let me be the first one to sign your petition to open a franchise here in NYC. Can you add Gumby’s to the list too? I’m all about the sit down Hut as well. Although I do love that they seem to combine them with Taco Bell here. Easy access.

  • Manan // Nov 30, 2006 at 10:08 am

    i saw that commercial too!!!

    actually, before i got to the end of the post i was going to leave you a comment saying that we have some in florida, but you already know that now…

  • Megan // Nov 30, 2006 at 11:25 am

    and one more thing, I’ve eaten at the OG in NYC before. On 3 separate occasions. And I held my head up high. I mean come on, unlimited salad and breadsticks?? You can’t beat that!

  • raaja // Nov 30, 2006 at 11:25 am

    i love olive garden too …

  • Ragu // Nov 30, 2006 at 9:38 pm

    Remember last year during the Penn St. weekend when I spontaneously and inexplicably threw my burrito at Amar’s face as he walked in the door, staining (probably permanently) his expensive shirt. Then he walked over to Rick’s to catch the 1:59ers outside and one girl he hit on said “ew…it looks like you puked on yourself” and walked away. I don’t know if that qualifies as a great Panchero’s moment for you, me, or Amar, (or Sachin who was laughing hysterically the whole time) but it was undeniably great.

  • S.U.Z.A.N.N.E. // Dec 1, 2006 at 11:29 am

    i second potbellys - its like heaven on a samich.

  • Ryan // Dec 2, 2006 at 3:57 pm

    I have to storngly disagree here.

    If they don’t open a Sonic in Manhattan within the next year, I’m going to blow this place up.

    Save the Sonic, Save The World.

  • magdalilly // Dec 4, 2006 at 1:15 pm

    RIP: Panchero’s in Columbia, Missouri. The all-time shadiest employees ever but they did make a hell of a burrito.

  • Green // Dec 4, 2006 at 1:27 pm

    I would like more Roy Rogers. Their fried chicken is so much better than KFC. I know Roy’s was bought out by Wendy’s and there are only like two left in the entire city.

    But really, Roy’s has the best fried chicken in the world.

  • Jen // Dec 13, 2006 at 8:02 pm

    No sit-down Pizza Huts? I learned in an advertising course that Pizza Hut owned the sit-down-pizza-shop market while Domino’s dominated delivery and Little Caesar had take-home. That was before some of the other chains, but yeah, that was the original model. So, whiskey-tango-foxtrot?!

    You guys need Illegal Pete’s… though, since I’ve been away from Colorado I have discovered that they changed the minimum delivery amount to $30! GAH!

  • Amish // Dec 14, 2006 at 10:09 am

    Seriously, whiskey-tango-foxtrot!

    Sit-down Pizza Huts are still a fairly common occurrence in America, and in fact, one of my favorite things to do when I go home is grab a family meal deal with my folks. There just aren’t any in New York (and I’d venture to guess other major metropolitan areas like Chicago as well). “Local” pizza reigns supreme here.

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