Sorry for the lack of posts last week. Work’s pretty busy right now, and I’ve had some other things going on outside of work that have occupied the rest of my time. Anyway, here’s the last week in a nutshell:

-Halloween was awesome, as it always is. I’m proud of my costume, which was a sleeper hit. Not everyone got it, but those that did LOVED it. It was great to walk around the West Village and hear “Oh my God, that dude is Quailman!” from different directions, sometimes from little kids. 2006 was a little disappointing in that there weren’t many other knockout costumes. However, I did see a pair of guys dressed up as contestants from Nickelodeon GUTS. I had actually thought about doing this next year (since I’ve got the whole Nick theme going anyway), but after seeing these guys, I don’t know if I can. They went to some plastic shop and got an actual mockup of a piece of the Agro Crag made, complete with glowing green light inside. I can’t compete with that.

-Thursday’s episode of The Office was about Diwali, and was absolutely amazing. If you haven’t seen it yet, find someone who recorded it (if you’re a girl, find me) and watch it. A couple of my favorite lines…

Dwight: Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of god king Rama after his epic battle with Ravena, the demon king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael: All right, all right. This isn’t Lord of the Rings.

Michael: These smores are disgusting.
Carol: They’re not smores. They’re samosas.

Seriously, watch the episode. Its fucking great.

-Who knew that staying in on Friday night and watching Drumline could be so fun? I mean, it sounds like a boring night, but I geniuinely had a good time. Is it bad that I enjoy Nick Cannon (yes, I have been known to watch Wild’n Out), or that I really enjoy watching Drumline (I think it falls in the 10+ viewings category for me)? “Yo, Nick Cannon is hilaaaaarious.”

(Also, any movie featuring Orlando Jones gets points in my book. If you know my friend Jay, you know why.)

-Michigan won over Ball State, albeit unconvincingly. I didn’t even watch the game because of some other things going on that day (it wasn’t on national TV). On the plus side, OSU’s win wasn’t that convincing either.

-Touch Down There (my league team) also won our last game of the regular season on Saturday. Sadly, it was a win by forfeit, since our opponent had no shot at the playoffs and thus did not show up at all. We played a ‘friendly’ with some other people on the field though, and won that, so you know, we’re still undefeated.

-After our game, our team went to the bar for some food and drinking. The OSU teammate and I bonded even more over football discussions and some games of flip cup and beer pong. I think we’re getting pretty close, and I really like how our relationship is evolving. But I feel like one of us is bound to get hurt.

-Unfortunately, starting drinking at 4:30pm does not lend itself to remembering the rest of the night, other than failing to make it to a party in Brooklyn.

-I went to a Sunday afternoon viewing of the Borat movie, which really is as good as everyone is saying. If you go to see it, I suggest you do what I did, which was to go first to brunch and drink 5 mimosas to jump start the buzz from the previous night, then stop at a bar outside the theater for a beer and double shot of vodka. (excluded from the suggestion: mini-puking up the double vodka, because that dampens the fun a little bit).

-Last but not least, I’ve been so busy over the last two weeks that I’ve pretty much given up on all domestic responsibilities, including laundry and cleaning my room (which is now covered in dirty laundry). On Friday, I wore my last clean undershirt. On Saturday after my football game, I put on my last clean pair of boxers, which stayed on all day Sunday (nope, didn’t shower yesterday). I had been telling myself all week that Sunday would be laundry day, but after getting drunk, watching Borat, and then going out to dinner, I was too exhausted for manual labor at night, opting instead to pass out on the couch where I would remain for a good portion of the night.

So after getting out of the shower this morning, I found myself in quite a bind. With no clean undershirts, I was forced to use my backup, an old, extremely light gray fraternity t-shirt from a few years ago. No big deal, except that the shirt’s lettering shows through when worn with a light-colored button-up, and all my dark ones were also in need of laundering. Out came the 5-year-old now-ill-fitting shirt with obvious signs of fading. Again, no big deal.

The real dilemma came when figuring out how to cover my boys. I couldn’t recycle. Despite being a big slob, that is one thing that I’ve never been able to do. I can wear one pair for three consecutive days as long as I don’t shower, but once I’ve cleaned myself, I can’t put dirty underwear back on. I couldn’t go commando, either. With a tucked-in shirt and thin dress pants, things would’ve felt a little weird, and maybe a little cold, down there without that extra layer. What was I to do?

It was then that I noticed, tucked into a corner of my room, the remnants of my halloween costume purchases from last week. If you recall, part of my costume required me to wear tighty-whiteys over my shorts, which I purchased in a pack of 7 from Wal-Mart last week.

Now, I haven’t worn tighty-whiteys since around the 7th grade, when I started having to change my clothes for gym class and didn’t want to be that dorky kid in the nut-huggers that everyone made fun of (in hindsight, all the boxers did was eliminate the nut-hugger aspect of my dorkiness). I was a little apprehensive about putting them on. After doing so, I stared at myself for a few minutes in the mirror while trying to determine if I would be able to deal with them for a full day. I arranged myself. I checked out myself in the mirror - front and profile. I practiced walking. I practiced sitting down. I squatted. (I don’t know why, but it seemed like a reasonable thing to do.) And finally, I decided that I would give it a shot.

I should’ve recycled.

I’ve been squirmy all day. The elastic around the leg holes is cutting off the circulation in my thighs. Things don’t seem to be sitting in the right place, and I’m feeling very claustrophobic. I keep standing up and walking around, to see if it will help. I’ve gone to the bathroom 3 times today, not out of bowel necessity, but to just let everything breathe for a little bit.

For once in my life, I’m looking forward to doing laundry.