One of many random memories I have from college is of a conversation about weddings I had with a girl friend of mine (not a girlfriend, just a girl friend…I’m not ready for that kind of conversation yet.) We were talking about how rowdy and fun the weddings for my particular group of friends would be.

“I can’t wait for my wedding, so I can get shit-faced with those guys AND be the center of attention.”
“Amish, you can’t get drunk at your own wedding!”
“Why not?”
“Cause you have to perform later”
“Perform? What do I have to perform? Isn’t that for sisters and nieces and stuff?”

[A significant chunk of time, called the 'Entertainment portion of the evening', of Indian wedding receptions is generally reserved for unnecessarily long dances by younger relatives, speeches by even more relatives, surprise singing performances, more speeches and dances, etc.]

“No, not at the wedding. You’ve got to ‘perform’ later that night”
“Huh?….Ohhhhhhhhhh…..Yeah, I guess you might be right.”

I was disappointed at the notion of having to stay moderately sober at my own wedding, in order to satisfy some old-fashioned tradition about the consumation of marriage. Why can’t I just get rip-roaring drunk, sleep in the next day, then deal with all that consumation crap later? Would that be so bad?

When I first moved to the city, I attended my roommate’s sister’s wedding. Although they did join us at the hotel bar for a few minutes after the reception, they retired to their room shortly after to get on with things.

A little over a year ago, I attended a wedding for two family friends of mine that got married to each other. They hosted an afterparty in their suite (including a hotel bar on wheels being rolled in), but eventually kicked us out in order to get on with the night.

Less than a year ago, I attended a wedding for another family friend of mine in Florida. The couple had already had a small wedding in Hungary (where the bride is from), and this event was being held for all the US friends and family to attend. They had already had their ’special night’, so after the wedding, the bride and groom invited everyone to their suite and got everyone drunk off Hungarian booze. No one got kicked out and the party only ended when the groom passed out.

Fast forward to earlier this week, where I’m hearing about a wedding that took place last weekend. Apparently everyone (including the bride and groom) got drunk throughout the reception, then continued the party down in the hotel bar and up into the bride and groom’s suite. At some point, the groom was running around with a bottle of champagne all to himself (”I don’t need a glass!”). And at 4 am, while the bride was passed out face down in bed, the groom and his buddy played baseball with grapes and rolled up newspaper.

(By the way, dude, if you’re reading this, HILARIOUS)

Fast forward to yesterday, when I received an evite from the bride and groom of a wedding I am attending this weekend. For what? The afterparty. Simply amazing. They picked a bar. THEY SENT AN EVITE. Not only are they planning to hang out with their friends after the wedding, but they made the whole thing DAMN NEAR OFFICIAL.

I’m liking this trend. If and when my wedding rolls around, I want it to be a real celebration, a real party, but with a little more class. (”Fine honey, I’ll use this silver fork and spoon seperately, though I gotta tell you, that plastic spork was a lot more efficient.”) I want to take as much advantage of the open bar as my friends do. And I don’t want the fun to end when the hotel kicks us out of the ballroom. When I get married, I want an afterparty that’s as fun, nay, more fun than the reception.

When I get married, I won’t even be using an evite for the afterparty. Oh no. My afterparty invitations will be printed on fancy paper, stuffed in the same envelope as everything else, and sent out months in advance.

“The Mother and Father of Amish invite you to the rehearsal dinner (or Sangeet or Raas/Garba or whatever). Please RSVP by…”

“The Mother and Father of the bride request your presence at the marriage of [daughter] to Amish. Please RSVP by…”

“Amish invites you to McGees to get fucked up after the old people clear out. Don’t write back - Just show up. Oh, and bring a camera, cause I’m gonna need it.”