I guess its about time this blog addresses something that it has never addressed before. Girls. And Me. Girls & Me. (Wow, that little ampersand was the most action I’ve gotten in weeks. And I’m pretty sure “Girls” didn’t enjoy it.)

Anyway, during our recent Fourth of July party, I was engaged in conversation with an acquaintance, a friend of my roommate’s older sister who I know, but not really well, and didn’t know she read my blog. This post is not about the fact that we were talking, but more about what she said…

Her: So I heard about your blog…
Me: Haha, really? [Damn this thing gets AROUND]
Her: Yeah man, its hysterical. You must be cleaning up with the ladies.
Me: [Nervous chuckle] Um, not really.
Her: Are you serious? Dude, chicks should be be all over you.
Me: Yeah…hey look, bean burritos! [Can we please not dwell on my lack of chicks?]
Her: What the fuck is wrong with these girls?

And that got me thinking. This blog owes me some booty. I’m DUE. What the fuck IS wrong with these girls?

I’ve thought about this a lot over the last couple of weeks and haven’t come up with a single good explanation. However, I did note the following points of interest…

1. I have not had relations with girls as a result of them reading this blog.

2. I have had relations with girls who have not read this blog. (For argument’s sake, this includes girls I’ve had relations with before the blog existed.)

History has thus far proven that my charming personality wit stunning good looks sense of humor dumb luck serves as better game than this blog. This blog may very well be hurting my game. This blog is a motherfucking cockblocker. By applying some common rules of logic, we can deduce that girls and I have better odds of getting together if they do not come anywhere near this blog.

I am therefore providing you with Suggestion #1 on the newly instituted List of Suggestions for Girls Who Are Interested In Getting With Me, Are Considering Being Interested In Getting With Me, Have Entertained The Notion of Considering Being Interested In Getting With Me, Have Hopefully Not Yet Ruled Out The Possibility of Getting With Me, Or Have Not Thought About It But Hopefully Will With Favorable Results.

Suggestion #1: Don’t Read This Blog.

Do it for us.