At the end of December, I am leaving for an 17-day trip to India. I haven’t been in 8 years, so it will be nice to see a lot of family I haven’t seen in a while, and explore some parts of the country I’ve never been to before.

Anyone who has travelled to a place like India for an extended period of time knows that there are a few things that have to happen before you leave.

1. The Medication
When travelling to a place like India, there’s a risk of catching serious disease, such as Typhoid, Hepatitus, or Malaria. So before going, one generally visits the doctor to get some preventative medications. While home over Thanksgiving this past weekend, I visited my pediatrician to get some shots, because yes, I still go to my pediatrician. Whenever I need any sort of medical attention, I wait until my next visit to Melbourne before getting it taken care of. I’m 23 years old, I have technically not lived in my hometown in almost 6 years, and still, I am too scared to visit anyone else other than the same guy who fixed my booboos when I was a child.

Anyway, as I was saying, over the weekend I went to the doc’s office to get the requisite shots. Shots generally don’t phase me, as long as I don’t see the needle as it hits my arm. So as he gave me the shot, I was looking away, making conversation with my dad, because, you know, I can’t go to the doctor’s office alone. It wasn’t until the next day that I noticed the bandaid the doc had put on me. It was a medley of flourescent green, yellow, and pink. I really need to grow up.

2. The “Gifts”
If your foreign-living family is anything like mine, then they have a wierd fetish for random American goods. Whenever we travel to India to visit them, we always have to each pack double the amount of luggage that a person would otherwise normally take. One suitcase for clothes, and one full of random shit to give out to relatives. Since my dad can only bring two pieces of luggage with him from Florida, he had me bring home an empty suitcase over Thanksgiving so that he could pack it full of goods for me to bring back to New York, which I would then take as my luggage on my flight to India. On Sunday night, I picked up the suitcase to load it into the car.

Amish: Damn, how heavy is this?
Dad: Just under 50 pounds.
Amish: What the hell is in this thing?
Dad: Macaroni
Amish: Macaroni?
Dad: Yea, those Kraft Macaroni and Cheese boxes.
Amish: 50 pounds of it?!?!
Dad: Well there’s a few other things in there too.
Amish: Like what?
Dad: Ketchup, Nutri-grain bars
Amish: But mostly just Macaroni?
Dad: Yea…30-40 boxes of it.

Do you remember ever making those Rainmaker things out of a paper towl tube and rice in Arts & Crafts class when you were little? That’s what it sounded like when I picked the bag up. A 50 pound rainmaker.