Last night, my family went out to dinner, and inevitably, the conversation turned toward my future life plans. We started talking about graduate school and whatnot, when my mom pondered “Maybe I should go back to school.” To which my dad responded with…
You should get your masters in vaccuuming.

I’m at a small birthday pre-party last night, talking to some girl when I get a text message from Sachin, who is literally no more than 3 feet away.
um..amish is mackin it…I want u here right now
I’m a little confused by it. The first part makes sense - he’s calling me out for hitting [...]

Warning, this post may gross you out a little.
You know when you’ve recently been sick and are better now. But still have all this excess mucus (a.k.a. SNOT) in your head like a week later. And then, out of nowhere, you have to sneeze. And its one of those suprise-attack sneezes that [...]

Cover charge for my sister’s friend and me: $60
First round of shots and beers: $100
Second and third rounds of beer: $70
Watching you get your panties in a twist because I said “I didn’t catch your name..was it Captain Douchebag??” to you when you came over to hit on my sister: Priceless!

The following takes place on the day of Cinco de Mayo. My name is Amish Shah, and this is the longest day of my life.
[beep BEEP beep BEEP beep]
9:00 AM: I spent the better part of the morning emailing back and forth between friends to figure out how we will celebrate the wonderful Mexican [...]

India’s new budget airline…
We have extremely attractive and well-trained flight attendants.
This is awesome.

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon - Yahoo! News
Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.
It doesn’t get much funnier.